It feels like it’s been a while since we’ve had an honest to goodness heart to heart on this corner of the internet. I feel like 2019 so far has been a real period of flux for me, a lot is changing, my health, mindset and priorities, and I’m in a bit of an odd place personally. I sometimes forget that I started this blog as an outlet for my feelings and sometimes putting pen to paper (or rather fingers to keyboard) is what I need to make sense of what’s going on in my head. Also I’ve been a little sporadic posting here so I wanted to update you generally on where I’m at right now.
Most of you know that I’m deep in the throes of my SIBO treatment right now, meaning my life is a slightly depressing cycle of drugs and restricted eating. I can almost see the light at the end of the tunnel now, I finish the drugs at the end of April, so I’m trying to keep the momentum for these last few weeks. I’m mostly used to this treatment and it’s side effects now, but I took a bit of a hit at the beginning of this month. I ended up with a chest infection and inflammation around my lungs which was SO painful. I was struggling to take all my treatment drugs because my throat was so swollen and I kinda stopped eating because I was in so much pain. Regular meals are really important for me in both managing my anaemia symptoms as well as my anxiety, so honestly I was in a bit of a tailspin for a week or so.
It was frustrating to have yet ANOTHER impediment to feeling healthy, and whilst I’m on the mend now, I’m still relying on my inhaler throughout the day to help with residual chest pain and palpitations I’ve been having. I felt really low and generally just frustrated with constantly having to think about my health. I know it’s a process and I am moving forward, but it’s hard spending so much time out for the count. I feel like I’m kind of sat around waiting for my life to begin again.
Monday marked the end of my twenty-fifth rotation around the sun, and I was lucky enough to spend a very chilled day surrounded by my favourite people. I was a little worried I’d feel fed up on my birthday, frustrated about not being able to celebrate with a glass of wine or even a slice of cake, and not having the energy to do much. Also you know, I spent my last birthday sipping cocktails in a pool in Dubai, so this birthday was never *quite* going to measure up. Turns out I needn’t have worried, because my family and Con were super aware of my fears and did so much to make sure I had a great day.
My parents + sister took the morning off work so we could do a family breakfast at my favourite spot, South Coast Roast. All I wanted for my birthday was to sneak a SCR dirty chai with oat milk, I’ve not had one since starting the diet since I’m not allowed any kind of milk, but I figured it wouldn’t be too bad to have just one as a birthday treat. It was so worth it, rich creamy and delicious, and it felt so good to be caffeinated again. We had a little potter around the shops before they headed off to work, it was so nice to have some quality family time, we’re not often all together at once!
Then it was off out because Con had booked me a surprise facial for the afternoon. I’m a big fan of Caudalie skincare, and so it was such a treat to have one of their facials at the gorgeous Captain’s Club Hotel. I had the Vinoperfect Radiance Facial and MAN was my skin glowy after. It included a shoulder, chest, arm and hand massage, as well as a hot and cold stone face massage and honestly I don’t think I’ve ever felt so relaxed in my life.
We spent the evening up in Southampton, we had an Apple Genius Bar appointment and my parents happened to have one too, so afterwards we grabbed dinner at Wagamama’s, ramen is one of the few dishes out I can generally have on my diet! It was a really chilled, low key birthday, but honestly I had the best day.
I’ve now had almost two months completely signed off work and honestly? I’m going stir crazy. I know a lot of people probably think two months off is blissful but honestly two months of being stuck in the house alone without the mental capacity to even read a book has been hard. I’ve had to turn down paid blog work, freelance work, and I’ve not been doing any of my usual contributions to online websites etc. I had previously scheduled a ton of blog content but now that that has run out I can’t promise regular content round these parts, but I am trying to grab the odd lucid moment to bash out a blog post. I hope you can bear with me through this, we’re in the home stretch to hopefully me feeling better again now!
I’m going to leave it at that because honestly my brain is half melted now and my hands are shaking so it’s probably time for a nap. I’ll try and get a bit more blog content in the pipeline but in the meantime you can keep up to date with me on Twitter and Instagram.
Thanks as always for sticking with me!