Why I’m Saying No More

No. One little word, one syllable, two teeny tiny letters. It’s not a big word, so why is it so hard to say?

I used to say no a lot. Anxiety kept me saying no, because saying no was easier than saying yes, and everything that came with it – plans, commitments, relationships and responsibilities.
And then the anxiety lifted. I say that like it was a surprise, when actually I worked hard to alleviate it. I saw a therapist, went to yoga, opened up about how I was feeling to family, friends, doctors. I found myself feeling happier, more confident, more excited about saying yes, so it all came a bit more easy. Until now.

Now, I need to say no more. It’s nothing personal, it’s me, not you. I’ve been over-committing, over-promising, stretching myself too thin. I’ve been saying yes to everything, days catching up with friends, blogging events, meeting new people for coffee. I’ve got work commitments, cocktail dates, gym sessions, days out with friends, you name it, it’s probably in my diary.

And it’s too much. I’m tired, I’m noticing I’m not fully present with people because I’m so tired, my body is exhibiting a novel’s worth of autoimmune, stress related symptoms. I’ve been cancelling on friends at the last minute, missing deadlines, taking sick days, hell, last week my eyeball literally got so confused it thought it was under attack, and started attacking itself in retaliation. WHO DOES THAT HAPPEN TO.

So I’ve made a decision. No is the word of the day, week month. No thank you to the after work coffee, I’ll pass on the day trip 100 miles away, I’m really sorry but I’m not coming all the way to London for a ten minute meeting. I’ve been talking the talk about putting my health first for a long time, it’s time to finally put it into action.

So friends, don’t be offended if I don’t make plans with you for a while. I’m sorry, but I’ve got some plans with my bed, a stack of books, and a little word spelt No.

Are you a yes or no kinda guy?